The thin line between classy and trashy {or just plain evil}

In honor of Halloween, I thought I'd tell you a scary story...

I have something happen to me overnight pretty much every night that I can neither explain nor can I stand.  I morph from a normal-looking person into a villain.  It's the Jekyll and Hyde effect, without the meds. 

I say villain because I have long held the theory that the bad guy in movies always has bad hair.  {You may remember this rant from gotbombshell if you've been reading my blogs for a while.  If so, sorry, but this theory bears repeating.} 

From Cruella Deville to Stephen King's "It" to that creeper from "The Ring" that comes out of the tv, they just never seem to have heard of deep conditioner.  Or, maybe they're just so busy being evil and executing terrible stratagems that they can't find the time, and just keep putting it on the back-burner, like "I'll get to that trim and color once I finish draining the blood from these kittens," or something.  Kind of like me and plucking my eyebrows, "I'll do that once I finish cleaning the oven."  Although, if I'm being honest, I don't cook, so it's more like "when I finish shoe shopping online."  But that's a blog for another day {spoiler alert: ALDO's current sale is killer!  Killer, kind of like that guy in "No Country for Old Men" with the chili-bowl haircut that is, for some reason, curled under in a gross, Alps-yodeling-pedophile kind of a way.}
Cruella / The Ring Girl {there were scarier pictures of her and the scarier they got, the worse the hair got.  Just sayin'.}
I know I mentioned "It."  I just can't put a picture of him on our blog... Not gonna lie, it's too scary and I don't want to see it again.  Click if you must.  But, be prepared to get totally freaked out.

And by the way, here's the Ring girl with her hair done all nice:
See how pretty?
Anyway, one of the times I had short hair {and back... ahem, WAY back in the day} in college, the roomies always said I looked like a member of a band  {I seem to recall the "Gin Blossoms" being referenced quite regularly, and THAT will do nothing but age me.  If you have ever even heard of them} in the mornings.

When I had long hair before, it was "George Washington" that I mostly reminded myself of in the a.m. {who is, of course, no villain, but still, did not have good hair}.  Now, though, with the platinum, it's someone totally new.  And totally disturbing.

During the day, I feel kind of glamorous.  My step-brother said I look like "someone who designs fancy clothes."  Thank you very much, Trev!  Even with my hair up {I'm not quite ready to subject my cotton-candy-like damaged coif to the flat-iron} I feel pretty sassy.

And then, there's THIS.
"Morning Maigen."  Sorry, I can't let y'all see my morning face.  That day, my eyes were particularly puffy!  Ah, who am I kidding?  They are always super puffy in the a.m.!
I look like Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife... 
Or, even, the Dog himself {behold}: 
Although I haven't ever seen an entire episode {I promise}, I will say that I don't think these people are actually villains, but I do think they could use some real, hard-core, What-Not-to-Wear-style make-overs! 

Thank goodness for styling products and a blow-dryer and comb! 

What villain / band member / dead president / reality tv star do you look like in the morning {PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one!}?

PS:  Just one more thing, how gorgeous is Javier Bardem {crazy-gross/scarier-than-hell in "No Country" but crazy-beautiful in real life... Pretty much all because of the bad hair and the evil.  And, which came first?  The evil or the bad hair?  It's like the egg and the chicken argument...}
Evil / Gooooood {If I were looking to take a LATIN LOVA, he would be a pretty good choice... I mean, is he fine, or what?  Although, I'm sure he's dating some Hollywood starlet, or is even married to her, which would throw a wrench in my plans.  Also, I realize that perhaps the starlet wouldn't be the only hindrance to our fiery romance... But, anywho.  A girl can certainly dream!}


Helene at: October 21, 2012 at 11:41 PM said...

You are funny. YOU just think you look bad girl!

Kerry at: October 22, 2012 at 9:13 PM said...

You are not anywhere near trashy! My hair gets all sorts of crazy when I sleep on it, too. I always feel like I'm rocking a bad 80s hairdo when I wake up. And having bangs like we do never helps the situation. Yikes!

LOVING the new hair!!

Maigen at: October 23, 2012 at 11:28 AM said...

LOL, thanks, ladies!! :)

Post a Comment

Comments make us smile! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!

newer post older post
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...